Out of Control
by formaldehyde.corruption
Summary: Running to the Galapagos was supposed to help her forget Emmett Bledsoe. It wasn't supposed to make her moody and throw up-y. Of course, the positive pregnancy test in her hand was trying to convince her that it was a baby making her sick, but that was just stupid.
1. Leave You Behind

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Switched at Birth'. Additionally, I don't own the song that inspired the chapter title, 'What do I Have to Do?', by Martina McBride.

**Story Title:** Out of Control

**Chapter Title: **Leave You Behind

**Summary: **Running to the Galapagos was supposed to help her forget Emmett Bledsoe. It _wasn't_ supposed to make her moody and throw up-y. Of course, the positive pregnancy test in her hand was trying to convince her that it was a baby making her sick, but that was just stupid.

**Rated: M**, for language and a lemon in chapter 1, and possibly more lemons later.

**AN: **I'm going to admit it straight-up. The plot for this story is a little bit cliché. But the thing about cliché storylines is that they're normally really good ideas, and _that's_ why everyone wants to write them. Ooooh, also, the quote at the beginning of the chapter is the inspiration for the title, and plus, I think it really fits Bay as a character.

**Please review, I'd love to know what you guys think!**

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**I: Leave You Behind**

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_What do I have to do?_

_Where do I have to go?_

_To get you off my mind,_

_Leave you behind,_

_Give me a sign,_

_What do I have to do?_

_To make me stop loving you?_

-What do I Have to Do?, by Martina McBride

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"_I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."_- Marilyn Monroe

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_Thursday, July 5, 2012_

Sometimes when Bay closed her eyes, she could still feel him inside of her.

She wasn't _trying_ to remember, that would be slightly counter-productive, considering she'd run to the Galapagos to _escape_ him, but her stupid brain didn't seem to care about what Bay wanted, so when she closed her eyes, he was suddenly _there_. She remembered the feeling of running her fingers through his hair, the way that he'd touched her in places that she'd never let anyone touch her before, his blue, _blue_ eyes and the way that they'd darkened when her nails raked down his back-

Her eyes flew open, a sharp gasp escaping her, and she quickly changed into her swimsuit and went outside to the pool in an attempt to escape the memories.

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Alex was a very nice boy. He had very nice parents. He had very nice brown hair, and his brown eyes were also very nice. Bay thought that he had a very nice smile, and he was very nice to her. He didn't look at other girls the whole time that they were talking-

_But neither did_-

-and Bay could tell that he was interested. She kept smiling, waiting for that spark, the spark that she'd always felt when faced with good-looking boys. She waited and waited and waited.

And nothing happened.

There was no spark. He was just a nice boy, who happened to be nice-looking with nice hair and nice eyes and a nice smile. He wasn't _electrifying_, on the knife's edge of _dangerous_, with a James Dean smirk and so _beautiful _that it was _heartbreaking_-

Later, when she and Alex were alone, she leaned forward and kissed him, because he was a very nice boy, and it didn't matter that there was no spark, because she'd had it proven to her oh-so-painfully _exactly_ how heartbreaking electrifying boys could be.

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_Bay found herself thankful that everyone at Emmett's dad's house was deaf, one thing she didn't have to worry about here was being overheard. They were kneeling, facing each other on Emmett's bed, naked as the day they were born, and Bay was so nervous she was shaking. _

_Emmett's blue eyes were familiar, reassuring, as he leaned quickly forward to kiss her. As he pulled back, he signed, 'Ready for me to peel your vegetable?', that lop-sided, boyish grin in place that always made Bay's heart skip a beat._

_All of her nerves dissipated as she burst out laughing at their inside joke. She nodded, and quickly found herself on her back, Emmett hovering above her. She wrapped her arms quickly around his waist, wanting him close. He centered himself, and then with a quick thrust he was inside her. _

_She gasped and clutched him tighter, her eyes widening, not so much from pain, though it was slightly uncomfortable, but more from the knowledge that he was _actually inside of her_, as close as two human beings could possibly get to each other. He dropped his head to her collarbone with a loud moan that caught Bay by surprise, and she had the fleeting thought that in the heat of the moment, in a house where she was the only hearing person, volume control was probably not his biggest priority. _

_He started thrusting after a moment of stillness while she adjusted, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck and she gasped and pulled him closer. He moaned again, and something about the sound set Bay on fire. Her hips began to meet him instinctively, thrust for thrust, and she heard herself moan in response, so wild and desperate it almost sounded animal, rather than human. She writhed under him, clawing at his back and shoulders with her nails. _

_He leaned up to kiss her, his thrusts becoming harder and faster and _oh-so-delicious_, and when he pulled his lips from hers, he pressed their foreheads together and grabbed her hands, linking their fingers together as his hips pressed her further into the mattress. _

"_Emmett," she gasped, and his eyes dropped to her lips. "Emmett, so good, you feel so good," she was gasping out nonsense at this point, her mind in a loop of how _good_ this felt, her hips rocking against him insistently for _more_. She knew he understood her words because his eyes darkened and his mouth fell open in another moan and his hands squeezed hers more tightly-_

"_EMMETT!" she shrieked, as her world suddenly shattered into ecstasy-_

-"Emmett, Emmett!" Bay gasped into the cold night air, waking up suddenly from a dream that was, in reality, a memory. Once she realized who's name she was calling, she resolutely clamped her mouth shut and refused to let her tears fall _again_.

Bay Kennish was stronger than that.

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_Wednesday, July 25, 2012_

The Italian restaurant that Alex had chosen for Bay's first proper meeting of his parents after three weeks of dating was loud, and crowded, but with the sounds of laughter and it gave off an atmosphere that Bay found that she liked.

"So Alex tells us that you're an artist," his mother prompted, an expectant smile plastered across her face. Bay felt Alex's hand take hers under the table, lacing their fingers together-

_-and grabbed her hands, linking their fingers together as his hips pressed her further into the mattress-_

-and squeezing her hand. Bay smiled widely at his mother. It felt slightly strained, but she didn't seem to notice.

They talked about her art for maybe ten minutes, and slowly the subject matter of their conversation meandered until their food came, and that was when everything went so, _so_ wrong.

She picked up her fork and twirled her spaghetti around the prongs carefully, the way she'd done since she was a little girl, being careful to get just the _right_ ratio of tomato sauce on the delicate beige strands, and then she took a bite. She didn't know if it was the smell or the taste or the texture or _what_, but suddenly her spaghetti seemed absolutely repulsive. Her chews slowed, and she put all of her effort into not grimacing noticeably. Alex squeezed her hand again as she thickly swallowed the glop of _gross_ in her mouth, the grimace unavoidable now. She looked over at him, and caught sight of his concerned eyes and out of nowhere, her spaghetti came back up.

All over Alex's lap.

Needless to say, the night ended quickly after that.

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_Friday, August 3, 2012 _

What the hell?

Why did she keep throwing up? She didn't feel sick and Bay tried to eat healthy for the most part. God, it would figure that she'd chose to go somewhere to sort her life out and it would just get _harder_. Nothing ever worked out neatly and nicely for sixteen-year-old Bay Kennish.

It had been a week since the disastrous dinner, and while Alex and his parents had been understanding at the time, it was clear that his mother at least was growing disturbed by Bay's continuing illness.

_She probably thinks I'm diseased_, Bay thought sarcastically to herself, _and that I'll pass on my deadly illness to her son_.

It wasn't as though Bay hadn't had practice in the mother of her boyfriend hating her.

_Don't think about that_.

So she wasn't too surprised when Mrs. Bennett, Alex's mother, showed up at the door to her room.

_Probably wants me to break up with him._

Except that thought didn't make her feel as indignant as it should.

"Bay…" Mrs. Bennett began. There was an odd look of compassion on her face, that didn't match up with the reason that Bay had assumed the woman was there. Confusion rolled through her, and to Bay's absolute disgust, she felt tears well in her eyes.

"Bay, maybe we should talk inside."

Bay just nodded, shakily trying to swallow the tears that had sprung up out of nowhere.

When they were both sat awkwardly on the edge of Bay's hotel bed, Mrs. Bennett turned to her with eyes that were filled with both fear and acceptance. Bay didn't understand what was happening.

"Bay have you… have you been to see a doctor?" Mrs. Bennett asked.

Bay shook her head 'no'. "I figured the food just didn't agree with me."

Mrs. Bennett's smile was slightly patronizing, as if to say, 'oh, you poor, stupid fool,' and Bay felt anger leap through her and tried to calm herself down with a deep breath.

"Bay, are you… _are you pregnant_?" Mrs. Bennett asked in a whisper, almost like she was afraid of the answer.

Bay laughed. Her, pregnant. That was probably the most ridiculous thing she'd heard in her whole life! As if she could be pregnant! For one thing, she didn't really like kids all that much, and besides, she had plans. She wasn't sure what those plans were yet, but she had them. She'd go to college, get a degree, art major maybe. Become a real, honest-to-God artist. But a baby at sixteen? No, that wasn't part of the plan.

_But then again, neither was dating Emme-_

"Pregnant?" Bay asked, still laughing. "Are you kidding me? Of course I'm not _pregnant_!" but even as she said it, her laughter slowed and the smile slid off her face, her voice becoming too high pitched as the possibility really began to occur to her.

Mrs. Bennett noticed, and the expression on her face became more distressed.

"I have to say, I had really hoped that you and Alex would wait longer before you… well, before you considered having a… an intimate relationship," she said delicately.

Bay immediately picked up on the disapproval in her tone, and felt herself blush hotly. Of course she'd be disapproving, she thought that Bay had had sex with her son after only dating for _four weeks_.

In an effort to make herself seem even half-respectable in this conversation about the possibility of her pregnancy at the age of sixteen, Bay blurted out the first reassurance that came to mind.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Bennett, Alex and I, we haven't-" she immediately stopped when she considered the implications of _that_.

Mrs. Bennett looked a strange cross between relieved and disapproving. Bay was about ready to curl into a ball and die of humiliation. She sounded like such a slut, dating Alex when she might be pregnant with some other guy's kid.

_Except he's not just 'some other guy'_.

"I see," Mrs. Bennett said, judgement written all over her face. She left after that, and Bay was unable to find any way to even _begin_ to attempt to explain herself, so she watched silently as the woman stepped out into the hall.

Bay never bothered to call Alex again, and he never tried to contact her either.

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_Sunday, May 13, 2012_

_As Emmett lay on top of her, catching his breath, Bay ran her fingers through his hair, stroked gently up and down his back. It felt a little surreal, to have just lost her virginity. Logically, she knew that no one would be able to tell, but she felt so different on the inside, surely, the next time she looked in the mirror there would be some sort of change, wouldn't there?_

_Emmett rolled off of her after a minute, and Bay continued to stare at his white ceiling in a daze of happiness and disbelief. A sudden movement on Emmett's part made Bay look over at him, as he sat up jerkily, something like panic flashing across his face. _

_She tapped his arm to get his attention while he looked at something in his hands. She blushed hard when she realized it was the soiled condom they'd used. _

"_Is something wrong," she asked, hoping he could read her lips okay in the dim light because she'd forgotten the signs in her emotional high. _

'_The condom broke,'_ _he signed. Bay felt herself pale, her stomach dropping right down into the floorboards. _

"_What?" she asked frantically, her hands gesticulating harshly as she remembered the sign for it. _

'_It broke,' he repeated, looking just as frantic as her. _

_Adrenaline flooded her system, and she suddenly found herself unable to sit still. With shaking hands, she got up and started pulling her clothes back on. When she found all of her clothes except for her bra, she shoved them on and continued looking for the undergarment after being sufficiently covered. Not under the bed. Or the desk. Where was it?_

_Emmett tapped her arm, and when she turned to look at him he'd pulled on his jeans and was still shirtless. He was holding out her bra, though, and she took it gratefully. _

"_Thank you," she mumbled, signing at the same time. She shoved it into her pocket as Emmett drew her attention again. _

'_It'll be okay,' he was signing. 'Nothing probably even happened anyway. And just in case it did, they have those morning after pills, right? Can you take one of those?'_

_Relief flushed through her so strongly that she felt dizzy. The morning after pill. Of course, it was so obvious! Why hadn't she thought of that?_

_She nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'll take one of those, good idea."_

_So Bay took the morning after pill, and didn't even so much as think of babies for almost three months afterward._

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_Tuesday, August 14, 2012_

Condom. Morning after pill. She'd been responsible. She'd used protection. She'd waited to lose her virginity to somebody that she loved and was in a stable relationship with. She'd done everything right. And yet, the world had found a way to _shit all over_ Bay Kennish, just like it always did.

And was it really her fault that _two_, not _one_, but _two_ forms of birth control had, quite apparently, failed her? And was it really her fault that her boyfriend had cheated on her, blowing her so-called 'stable' relationship right out of the water? And was it really _her fucking fault_ that the universe hated her?

The first time she'd missed her period, she and Emmett had been fighting a lot. She'd barely even noticed its absence, and when she had, she'd shrugged it off as stress. The second time she'd missed her period, she'd already started throwing up, so she shrugged it off as illness screwing up her body chemistry and was thankful that it wasn't ruining her trip anymore than the throwing up already was.

_The throwing up was morning sickness, you moron_.

The third time she'd missed her period was three days after Mrs. Bennett asked her if she was pregnant. And that time, Bay was _scared_.

She didn't get a pregnancy test until yesterday. She'd kept trying to deny it to herself. Because she couldn't be pregnant. Babies were for people who were older, who knew what they were doing, who wanted them.

They were for people who had _actually finished high school_.

They were definitely _not_ for single teenage girls with lives so screwed up, they should have their very own reality TV show.

And yet, there was a little pink plus sign staring back at her.

Bay threw the test away, dropping the piece of plastic quickly into the trash, like it was made of acid. She opened the other test she'd bought, just to be extra-super-special-sure, and shimmied out of the jeans that, recently, were feeling a little tight.

She held the stick awkwardly between her legs while she peed, and decided that there were probably very few things in the world that were less dignified.

She needn't have bothered with the gracelessness. That test came out positive too.

_I think I need to think about going home soon…_ Bay thought as she stared at the test, lip trembling and eyes filling with tears.

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_Friday, August 17, 2012_

It had taken her three hours to realize that she had options, and three days to work up the courage to go to a free clinic for an abortion. She didn't even know how that worked, if she could just walk in and get it over with just like that, but she knew she couldn't have a baby. Aside from being so far from ready it was laughable, she was _unable_ to deal with a problem of this magnitude. There were too many other people in her life to think about, like her parents, all _four_ of them, and Daphne, and _Emmett_-

At the thought of his name, she pulled over onto the side of the road, bumped her head against the steering wheel, _hard_, in an attempt to stop thinking about him, and when that didn't work, she cried. It was this stupid pregnancy, it kept making her cry and she just wanted it to _stop_.

It took her a whole ten minutes to calm down, and when she did, she really looked around herself and took stock of where she was. Was she really on her way to a free clinic to get an abortion? After three days of consideration? After not telling anybody? Her parents? Her family?

Did she need to tell Emmett before she went through with this? Yes, yes, she really did.

Did she want to do this?… she didn't think so. But the idea of having a baby scared her out of her mind, until she shook so hard her teeth chattered and tears were building again. She was _sixteen years old_, still in high school. Her life had too many problems for her to be able to provide emotional stability to a child, and beside that, the father of said child had _cheated on her_.

It didn't exactly sound like the best situation to bring a baby into.

And yet…

And yet Bay had never really ever believed in abortion for herself. She believed in the freedom to chose what to do with your own body, but abortion had always seemed like something for other women, not for herself. She'd always assumed that when she got pregnant, the kid would be for keeps.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it. Even with her being sixteen, she tried to imagine it. Teenagers became parents all the time, surely she could do it if she really tried? She couldn't imagine it though. All she could see was the disappointment that her mom would look at her with, the way that Regina would tell her she was throwing her life away, her dad's rage at yet _another_ one of Bay's fuck-ups.

And then she tried to imagine telling Emmett that he was going to be a father and suddenly it was like some kind of barrier had broken in her mind. She could see Emmett playing with a little boy with black curls in the backyard, or maybe humoring a little girl with blue eyes through a game of Barbies. They were scenes that she wanted to make real so badly it _hurt_-

Her eyes snapped open and she gripped the steering wheel hard as the reality of Bay's situation crashed upon her. She had turned into a statistic. Yet another pregnant teenager among many. She was away from home, alone, and had been considering getting an abortion without so much as even telling the _father_. And she _couldn't_ get an abortion, because despite her best efforts, Bay Kennish was still in love with Emmett Bledsoe, and she couldn't find it within herself to kill his child.

She started sobbing right there on the side of the road.

"I still love him," she gasped out loud to herself. "I still love him."

She didn't get the abortion.


	2. The Bad Before the Worse

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Switched at Birth'. Additionally, I don't own the song that inspired the chapter title, 'Shouldn't Be A Good In Goodbye', by Jason Walker.

**Story Title:** Out of Control

**Chapter Title: **The Bad Before the Worse

**Summary: **Running to the Galapagos was supposed to help her forget Emmett Bledsoe. It _wasn__'__t_ supposed to make her moody and throw up-y. Of course, the positive pregnancy test in her hand was trying to convince her that it was a baby making her sick, but that was just stupid.

**Rated: M**, for language and a lemon in chapter 1, and possibly more lemons later.

**Thank you so much to the two people who reviewed. I realize that SAB is not a significantly popular fandom, especially in between seasons, but I honestly appreciate every single review I get :')**

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**II: The Bad Before the Worse**

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_After the madness,_

_And after the slow shock,_

_But before the wave hits,_

_The flood comes rushing in,_

_This is the bad before the worse,_

_This is the storm before the storm,_

_And I haven't even hit the bottom of this ocean floor_

-Shouldn't Be A Good In Goodbye, by Jason Walker

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_Sunday, August 19, 2012_

Bay parked the Thing in the driveway, looking at her house, which could probably be classified as a mansion, for the first time in three months. As she got out of the car, she was pretty sure she heard laughter coming from the backyard. Figuring that was where she'd find people, she started making her way around the side of the house. Halfway there, she stopped to inspect her reflection in one of the windows.

Her weight gain had not yet become obvious. So far it just looked like she'd developed more curves, and what girl wasn't up for that? She was thankful that a baby bump hadn't developed yet. It gave her some time to tell people. Nevertheless, in her paranoia at being found out, she'd worn a baggy Rolling Stones t-shirt that was so old and faded that she usually wore it as a sleep shirt. She made up for it with black skinny jeans though, and she didn't think she'd committed _too_ much of a fashion crime, especially with her leather jacket on over the whole thing. Her hair was as dark and curly as ever, her eyes still a wide, dark brown, her skin still pale white. She marvelled at how absolutely changed she was, all without looking any different.

The sound of splashing sent her trekking into the backyard again, where she saw Toby and Daphne splashing at each other in the pool. It was a close competition, they were both good shots.

_Must be those Kennish genes_, Bay thought ruefully. _The Kennish genes that I don't have_. That thought deflated her somewhat. It still hurt sometimes, to love her parents so much, and yet knowing that they weren't _really_ her parents- not biologically.

They noticed her as she walked to the edge of the pool, her hands shoved casually in her back pockets. As they looked over at her she lifted one hand in a lazy wave, a classic fake Bay smile on her face as she shot a "Hey," their way.

Toby hopped out of the pool, dripping wet and reeking of chlorine, but it had been so long since she'd seen him that Bay didn't even care that his hug made her wet and cold. Daphne came out more slowly behind him, smiling uncertainly at Bay. Bay wondered if she could tell that something was wrong. Toby had told her about Daphne and Emmett's use of body language in something as simple as poker. Did they use it in everyday life too?

As Toby released her, Daphne gave a small wave. "Hi, Bay. I'm glad you're back."

Bay raised her eyebrows, wondering how true that statement actually was. Despite all their best efforts, Daphne and Bay just seemed to rub each other the wrong way.

_Funny, then, how I ended up being so perfect for her best friend_-

_Don't think about that._

"Glad to be back," she said, instead of voicing her less-than-complimentary thoughts. "Do you know where Mom and Dad are? Mom told me on the phone this morning that she wanted to see me straight away."

"Uh, they're inside," Daphne said. "But before you talk to them, I need to talk to you."

Bay raised her eyebrows again, this time out of surprise, rocking back on her heels. She exchanged a bewildered glance with Toby, who shrugged. Shrugging as well, Bay swung her arms awkwardly in the direction of the house.

"You wanna tell me while we walk?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," Daphne said, already falling into step beside Bay, leaving a dripping wet Toby by the pool.

"What'd you wanna talk about?" Bay asked, making sure to sign the words she knew. She'd gotten a bit rusty these past few months, and she knew she'd eventually need to get Emmett involved in this pregnancy, so she needed to get her signing back up to scratch.

"…It's about Emmett…" Daphne said. Bay hated the look on her face. Half apologetic and half pity, like she thought Bay was a fragile creature that needed to be handled delicately. Bay didn't need or want her pity. She was stronger than that.

_But are you really? Didn't you once tell Emmett that you break easily?_

Not that he'd paid that statement any mind when he climbed on top of Simone Sinclair. Which was basically the equivalent of throwing her beating heart against the rough concrete and then stomping all over it until it was nothing but a messy red smear.

"I don't want to talk about Emmett," Bay said automatically, because talking about Emmett _hurt_.

"Okay, but, he keeps asking me about you and how you're doing and if you need anything because you wouldn't answer any of his texts. So he put a letter on your bed for when you get back, because he thought that if you wouldn't even answer a text, you probably wouldn't want to see him in person. Bay, he _really_ cares about you, and it's obvious that he's _really_ sorry… do you think that maybe you could…"

"Maybe I could what?" Bay snapped, emotion rolling through her uncontrollably. She wished these hormones would go away. "Maybe I could forgive him? Maybe I could take him back like nothing happened? Well guess what, Daphne? Something _did_ happen! He cheated on me! I loved him and trusted him and he broke my heart and I'm not ready to forgive him, okay!?"

And with that, she stomped away, leaving behind a shell-shocked Daphne Vasquez.

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It was the first time she'd been in her room since she left. Everything looked the same. Bed made, slightly messy, enough to look 'lived in'. Mural on her wall. Quote above her headboard. Stuffed animals from her childhood strewn across the covers.

And sitting innocently between a pillow and one of those childhood relics was a manila envelope, the word 'BAY' written across it in Emmett's block handwriting.

She felt a strange draw to it, a need to open it, to see what was inside, to read what he had to say, as if there were magic words contained in that letter that could somehow persuade her to forgive him, to take him back. All of this would be so much easier if she could just forgive him.

And yet, nothing had ever terrified her as much as the contents of that manila envelope.

Before she had time to think about what she was doing, she'd grabbed it, run to her closet and shoved it onto her top shelf where it would surely get lost and she wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Where she could run from it, hide from it.

Hide from _him_.

As she closed the closet door firmly behind her, she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror, cheeks flushed, curls wild, eyes frantic, hips just a little wider than they should be-

No. She needed to calm down. Everything was going to be okay, just as long as she calmed down. Everything would be okay.

She wished she was better at lying to herself.

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_Tuesday, August 28, 2012_

_Shit_.

She examined herself in the mirror from all angles. Nothing changed. _It_ didn't change.

The minute that Clover Chamberlain had walked past Bay in the halls of Buckner today, her fake blonde hair and fake boobs major assets in getting her noticed by the surrounding boys, she'd taken one sweep of Bay's body, smirked devilishly and said,

"What do you have cooking in that oven, Bay? You sure are getting doughey."

And that was when Bay knew that Clover _knew_.

A tiny bump had formed, but it was the smallest swell. The tighter clothes she tended to wear to Buckner showed that she had gained a little weight, but nobody should be able to tell that it was a baby bump unless they _knew_, and Bay had yet to tell anybody.

How did Clover know?

Bay suddenly wondered if it was from experience. There'd been rumors, freshman year, that Clover was pregnant, but Bay had never really believed them. But now she wondered. Maybe once you'd been pregnant you could detect it in other women? After all, Mrs. Bennett had confronted Bay about her pregnancy before she'd even realized it herself. Maybe Clover had _sensed_ it somehow.

No matter how Clover knew, Bay was sufficiently freaked. She needed to start telling people, she needed to start telling them _now_. Before they found out for themselves. At least if she told them herself, she wouldn't be in the added trouble of having had kept secrets.

But not her parents. God, no, not her parents. Her dad would yell until he was blue in the face, and Bay wouldn't be able to stand her mother's disappointment. As awful as it was, being that they were her biological parents, Bay didn't feel a close enough bond with Regina and Angelo to go to one of them, and besides, she had no way of knowing how they'd react.

If she and Emmett were still together, she'd be running to him right about now, ready to spill her guts, but as it was, she could barely even stand to think about him. It was too painful.

_You'll have to involve him soon_, her mind tried to tell her. She ignored it.

Crazy as it was, the only person that Bay felt like she could trust right now was Daphne, the girl who's life she should have had.

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Regina had welcomed her into the guest house, all smiles that turned to slight bewilderment when she said she wanted to speak to Daphne.

When Bay opened the door a crack and stuck her hand through to get Daphne's attention, she felt like she could throw up. Luckily, she didn't think she actually would, since the morning sickness had been fading over the last week.

"Come in," she heard Daphne say. She quickly slipped inside.

Her expression must have given something away. Maybe she looked as scared as she felt, because the second that Daphne saw her, her smile dropped and she was looking at Bay worriedly.

"Bay, are you okay?" she asked, urgency in her tone. "You don't look so good."

To Bay's utter horror, she burst into tears. Stupid, _stupid_ pregnancy hormones. Bay Kennish did not cry for no reason like this.

Okay, so she had a reason, but she still hated herself for crying in front of an audience. Tears were wasted energy that could be used on a particularly tragic painting, and if that didn't help, they were for being deeply burrowed in the dark of her bedroom closet, where no one could hear her sobs.

Daphne pulled her into a hug, and it was kind of awkward, because half the time Bay didn't even know if she _liked_ Daphne, but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Before she knew it, she was gently being sat on the edge of Daphne's bed, with the other girl sat beside her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. Bay looked over at her, sniffling pathetically. Daphne looked back with soft blue-green eyes framed by bright strawberry-blonde hair. For the first time, Bay really noticed that despite having inherited Kathryn's coloring, Daphne looked a lot like John. They had the same classically attractive chiseled angles to their faces. She felt her heart ache for a minute, at how she just barely fit in with the people she'd grown up with. Even Toby fit in, if only in looks. He was Kathryn's spitting image, all soft, angelic features.

Bay never had and never would fit in with them.

"Bay, tell me what's wrong." Daphne looked truly concerned, probably because of the crying, and though Bay had practiced what she would say over and over again, she just ended up blurting it out.

"I'm pregnant."

The words made it even more real than those two pregnancy tests had, and Bay felt her head spin at the reality of it all.

All emotion drained from Daphne's face until it was eerily blank. All color followed soon after, making her freckles stand out harshly. Her hand fell limply from Bay's shoulder, and for a time, she just stared. It made Bay uncomfortable, and she fidgeted under the scrutiny.

"You're what?" Daphne finally asked.

"I'm pregnant," Bay repeated.

"You can't be pregnant!" Daphne hissed. "You're sixteen!"

Feeling defensive, Bay crossed her arms and leaned slightly away from Daphne.

"Well, sorry to break it to you, but I _am_ pregnant. God knows it'll have a life-changing impact on _your_ life," Bay said sarcastically, before realizing that actually, it probably _would_ change Daphne's life. Like it or not, they were family now, and chances were, Daphne was going to be involved in this kid's life.

That is, if Bay ended up keeping it.

But all Daphne did was stare at her stomach like an alien was about to come bursting out of it any second.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Bay nodded. "I took two tests. They both came out positive."

Daphne was still staring at her wide-eyed. "Wow. How long have you known?" she asked.

"I figured it out while I was gone. I've known for two weeks now."

Daphne's eyes suddenly widened even more dramatically. "Oh my Gosh, is it that guy's? Your mom said that you were dating some guy-"

Bay shook her head quickly. "No, no, not Alex… Emmett."

"Emmett? Emmett's the father?"

Bay nodded, looking resolutely at the ground.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! _Emmett_ is the father? How pregnant _are_ you? You guys have been broken up for _months_."

Bay blushed, still feeling stupid for not having figured out she was pregnant sooner. Looking back, it seemed obvious. Obvious enough that her boyfriend's mother had flat-out _asked_ her if she was pregnant.

Bay did a rough mental calculation in her head, shrugging. "I don't know, like, three and a half months, maybe? Something like that?"

Daphne raised her eyebrows and Bay just _knew_ she was wondering how Bay hadn't known sooner.

"I was a little busy," she snapped defensively. "You know, with picking up the pieces of my heart after your best friend cut it into tiny little pieces."

It was Daphne's turn to look bashful.

"Have you told him yet?" she asked, sounding a little hesitant. "He talks about you all the time, you know. About how he wishes he could go back in time and not even _look_ at Simone. I actually… well, I've actually been trying to get him interested in other girls, but he keeps saying he just wants you. He loves you, Bay."

Bay swallowed thickly against the tears that wanted to rise. She loved him too, there was no denying that to herself, but she couldn't see how she could be in a relationship with someone who had hurt her so badly. How could she ever trust him again?

She ignored most of what Daphne had said and just answered the question. "No, I haven't told him yet. You're the only person I've told so far."

Daphne hesitated. "You are… planning on telling him… right?"

Bay rolled her eyes. "Of course I'll tell him. Emmett's a smart guy, I think he'd put two and two together when I gave birth nine months after giving him my vegetable," she said moodily. She couldn't believe that Daphne thought she'd keep something this huge from him. Sure, she was mad at him, but this was reality, not some daytime drama.

"Did you just say your vegetable, or did I read your lips wrong?"

"Crap, I didn't mean to say that. I meant my virginity."

Daphne's eyes widened again. "You were a _virgin_?" she asked, more incredulity in her voice than Bay thought flattering.

"You know, Emmett was really surprised by that too. What, do I have 'SLUT' written across my forehead or something?" she snarked.

Daphne blushed. "Well, no, I mean, I'm sorry, I guess I just thought… well, because you're _you_-"

Bay snarled and Daphne backpedaled. "I only meant that boys seem to really like you."

Bay was still scowling, so Daphne threw a 'sorry' in there for good measure.

They were quiet for a little while, until Daphne thought of a new question.

"Have you seen a doctor yet?"

Bay shook her head no. Truth was, she was too afraid to go see a doctor until she'd told her parents. Because what if the doctor told them before she could?

"You really need to see one," Daphne told her. "You're getting pretty far along. There's things the baby will need, like those prenatal vitamins pregnant women always take."

Bay nodded in acceptance. She'd already decided that abortion wasn't an option for her, and even if she didn't end up keeping this kid, she was going to take damn good care of it while she had it. Since she couldn't face up to telling her parents anytime soon, she really did need to make sure she was being healthy for the baby's sake.

Daphne was watching her closely. "I could… I could set up an appointment for you, if you want?" she asked.

Bay nodded, looking at the girl next to her. She suddenly had the thought that maybe Daphne wouldn't be _quite_ so accepting, _quite_ so helpful, if it weren't for the fact that it was Emmett's child that Bay was carrying.

Before she left, she turned to Daphne. "Hey, um, I kind of need you to not say anything to Emmett."

Daphne looked alarmed. "What? I thought you said you were telling him!? Bay, he's my best friend-"

"I know, I know," Bay interrupted. "I _will_ tell him… it just might take me a couple days, okay? Can you just give me a couple days?" It was hard to sound like you weren't begging when you were begging.

Daphne held eye contact with her for what felt like the longest minute of Bay's life before she gave a sharp nod, and Bay felt nothing but relief.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

_Wednesday, August 29, 2012_

Daphne shoved a slip of paper in Bay's hand the next morning, as she was climbing into the Thing to get to Buckner Hall. When she looked down, she saw a short message scribbled on it in Daphne's flowery, girly handwriting.

_Bay- Got you an appointment with Dr. Stephanie Cooper after school this Friday. 3:30. Also, tell Emmett soon, or I will._

Bay sighed and crumpled the note in her hand, shoving it in her jeans pocket.

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**Remember to review, please!**


	3. We Made Quite A Mess, Babe

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Switched at Birth'. Additionally, I don't own the song that inspired the chapter title, 'I Almost Do', by Taylor Swift.

**Story Title:** Out of Control

**Chapter Title: **We Made Quite A Mess, Babe

**Summary: **Running to the Galapagos was supposed to help her forget Emmett Bledsoe. It _wasn__'__t_ supposed to make her moody and throw up-y. Of course, the positive pregnancy test in her hand was trying to convince her that it was a baby making her sick, but that was just stupid.

**Rated: M**, for language and a lemon in chapter 1, and possibly more lemons later.

**AN: **Gotta be honest- I've never been pregnant, so I previously had no idea what happened when pregnant women had prenatal visits, so a lot of research went into this chapter. I hope I managed to reflect a real experience, despite having never experienced it myself.

**I'm going to be super honest and say I squeal every time I get a review, fav or follow, so thank you to all of those who did! You guys are the best!**

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**III: We Made Quite A Mess, Babe**

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_We made quite a mess, babe,_

_It's probably better off this way,_

_Cause I confess, baby,_

_That in my dreams you're touching my face,_

_And asking me if I want to try again with you,_

_And I almost do,_

_And I just want to tell you,_

_It takes everything in me not to call you,_

_And I wish I could run to you,_

_And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do,_

_I almost do_

-I Almost Do, by Taylor Swift

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

_Friday, August 31, 2012_

Bay sat on the bathroom floor that morning, Indian-style, looking apathetically at yet _another_ pregnancy test- the third she'd taken.

Positive, obviously.

The fact that she'd known for over two weeks now didn't change the sense of unreality when she thought about the fact that in, what, five months, she was going to be giving birth to a child. It seemed all the more surreal because she could hear Kathryn and Daphne laughing together in the kitchen. Like things were _normal_.

Things were _not_ normal.

She'd woken up that morning and thought about the doctor's appointment she'd have to have after school, thought about all the people she'd have to tell, and suddenly wished so hard _not_ to be pregnant that it had briefly brought tears to her eyes. In the Galapagos, she'd gotten a packet of three tests, though after the first two positives she hadn't been able to face the third. But that morning she'd felt a compulsion to take it, as though it would come out negative and she could just roll this whole awful scary experience off her back and be more careful in the future.

Still, she hadn't been at all surprised to see the far-too-familiar plus sign.

"Shit," Bay sighed to herself, burying her head in her knees and leaning back against the side of the bathtub. Maybe she could just sit here in this moment forever. The future would never come, and Bay would never have a baby.

But of course, the world doesn't work like that.

Bay was brought from her futile attempt to freeze time when the bathroom door opened unexpectedly. She made a mad scramble to hide the pregnancy test, until she saw that it was just Daphne.

"Oh, sorry!" Daphne said. "I thought it was empty, I guess I just forgot to knock, I…" she trailed off as she took in Bay's position on the cold tiled floor. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Bay waved the plastic stick in the air as an answer.

Daphne scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. "But I thought you'd already taken two?"

"I did," Bay said, getting up off the floor. "I took another one… just in case."

"What did it say?" Daphne asked.

Bay rolled her eyes. "What do you think?" she muttered, making her way out of the bathroom. She grabbed a piece of toast on her way out the door, and as she started the Thing's engine, she prayed that she didn't run into Clover Chamberlain that day.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Daphne had come to her appointment with her. Bay was grateful, though she didn't want to admit that to Daphne. There was something about waiting rooms that made her nervous, and as she jiggled her leg impatiently, she noticed the stares she was getting. All of the women were in varying stages of pregnancy, and the youngest apart from her looked about twenty-five. Only two didn't have the father sat beside them, though for all Bay knew they could've just been busy that day and would be home for dinner, with _full_ knowledge of their impending fatherhood.

_Unlike the father of my child_.

A nurse stepped out into the waiting room, mid-twenties maybe, with dark hair and sharp facial features. "Bay Kennish?" she called.

Bay stood up awkwardly, well aware of all the eyes trained on her and her oh-so-obviously teenage form. She flicked her dark eyes quickly towards Daphne, needing the reassurance of a friendly face, and Daphne must have realized because she smiled as she picked up a magazine.

"I'll wait out here for you, okay?"

Bay nodded and followed the nurse inside. They went through the tedious process of checking her height and weight and getting her blood pressure checked. The nurse noted some things down on a clipboard, while Bay sat on the cushioned patient's table and tried not to cringe at how loudly the paper crinkled beneath her in the silence.

The nurse handed her one of those paper gowns, like the kind you wear in hospital, and Bay looked at it in disgust.

"Dr. Cooper will be with you shortly. If you could just change into that dress, please, it will make the health check process for you and your baby much easier."

Bay waited until the nurse had left before quickly changing into the paper dress. Despite the reason she was here, she could see her reflection in the window and she appeared oddly innocent, wearing the dress, curls above it and socks on her feet below it, looking back at herself with large eyes.

_Too innocent to be having a baby at sixteen_.

The door opened again and Bay looked over as a tall, slender woman stepped through, blonde curls in a bun, a halo of gold framing her pretty face. She looked like she was in her early thirties, and she had calm green eyes that set Bay at ease.

"Hello, Bay," Dr. Cooper said, looking over her chart. "I'm Dr. Cooper, I'll be performing your first prenatal check-up today. If you decide that you feel comfortable with me, then I can stay with you throughout your pregnancy, in which case I'd also be there when you give birth."

Bay nodded, feeling awkward and unsure what to say.

"Is the father going to be joining us today?" she asked, and Bay felt a guilty lurch in her stomach that she hadn't told Emmett yet. He really should be here, this was important.

"Uh, no, not today," Bay said a little bashfully.

"That's okay," Dr. Cooper said reassuringly. "If you can, though, I would really like for you to bring him to one of your visits, okay? It's safer for the baby if we know the family health backgrounds of both the mother and the father, and there may be genetic defects or diseases in his family that you're not aware of, okay?"

Bay swallowed hard at the thought of the baby having a disease or something, and nodded hastily.

"Okay, now do you know how far along you are?"

"Um, well… I've only ever had sex once, so, yeah… It was May 13."

Dr. Cooper raised her eyebrows before turning to the calendar she had tacked up on the wall. Flipping through, Bay watched as she counted the weeks. "That means that on Sunday you'll be sixteen weeks pregnant. I assume that you only found out recently?" she asked, turning back to Bay.

"Yeah, on August 14."

"Alright, well, since you're already in the second trimester, your risk of miscarriage has dropped significantly. You should also notice that any tiredness or morning sickness you may have had is fading." Bay nodded in confirmation.

"Okay Bay, here's how it's going to go. You'll have your first appointment today, and then you'll keep coming back every four weeks until you hit the twenty-seven week mark, at which point you'll enter your third trimester. In the third trimester, you'll be seen more often, probably every two weeks, until you reach thirty-six weeks, when you'll be seen once a week until the baby's born."

Bay nodded, not really sure what to say. This was all so adult, and despite how grown-up she liked to think she was, this whole experience just kept shoving her face in the fact that she was sixteen years old. She was having a child, and she herself was basically a child.

Dr. Cooper pulled a stool in front of the table that Bay was sat at and made eye contact. Bay was taken aback, not having expected this gesture, thinking she'd just have to answer some questions and get a few exams done.

"Bay, before we start, I just want you to know that if you have any questions, any questions at all through the process, even if you think they're stupid, please, feel free to ask me. I promise to answer all your questions to the best of my ability."

Bay suddenly felt about five times more comfortable with Dr. Cooper. There was no judgment for the fact that she was a pregnant teenager, and Bay now felt like she could come to Dr. Cooper about anything she might need. Her trust in the other woman began to build itself.

As it turned out though, Bay couldn't think of any questions.

"That's okay," Dr. Cooper smiled. "If you think of anything between now and your next appointment, don't feel shy about calling."

Bay nodded.

"Okay, first up I'll take your health history, alright? These are standardized questions, and they are not meant to cause any offense."

Bay nodded her understanding.

"When was your last period and how regular are they? I ask this so that I can determine your due date."

Bay stopped herself from blushing, suddenly glad Daphne and Emmett weren't at this particular appointment.

"But… I told you that we, um… _conceived _on May 13."

Dr. Cooper smiled. "Sperm can take a few days to travel up to the egg, so even though you were sexually active on May 13, you may not have actually conceived until, say, May 15. So just to be sure, us doctors tend to count your pregnancy as starting two weeks after your last period."

"Oh. Okay, well, I'm pretty regular. Every five to six weeks."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Do you happen to know the first day of your last period?"

Bay thought back. "I think it was April 28. Yeah, it was, because Emmett was planning this date and I was really excited about it, but then my period started that day and we ended up having to cancel because I get really bad cramps."

Dr. Cooper consulted the calendar again. "Based on the regularity of your periods, your due date is February 2, which actually isn't all that different from what your due date would be if you did in fact conceive on May 13, in which case your due date would be February 3."

This information had the effect of making Bay's brain freeze. The baby suddenly seemed so much more real, and the due date made her picture years of birthday parties in the chill of February.

"Have you noticed any symptoms or problems since your last period? They don't have to be related to pregnancy."

"Uh, no. Just the morning sickness, really. And that's going away now. Although I have started to get food cravings, but I think that's supposed to be pretty normal."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "It is all very normal, yes." She proceeded to ask whether Bay had any conditions that she took medication for, drug allergies or psychiatric problems, all of which Bay said 'no' to.

"How about any past surgeries or hospitalizations?"

"Uh, well, I had to go to the hospital when I was eight after I broke my arm, but somehow I don't think that that's what you're talking about."

Dr. Cooper's lips twitched in an amused smile. "No, no it's not. What about habits that could affect the baby? Smoking, drinking, drugs?"

"We don't have to worry about that."

"Okay, so _your_ medical history looks squeaky clean. What about your family? Any health problems?"

"Not that I know of. My mother's an alcoholic, but I'm not really sure how relevant that is."

"You said you yourself don't drink?" Dr. Cooper confirmed, looking at Bay steadily, as though trying to detect any hint at a lie.

"I don't."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Then I don't see why it should affect your pregnancy. Does anyone in your family or in the father's family have any chromosomal or genetic disorders? Developmental delays? Structural defects?"

"No, nothing like that, but, the baby's father is deaf. I know that that's genetic because both of his parents are as well." Bay _seriously_ doubted that Emmett would appreciate her thinking of his deafness after words like 'disorder' and 'defect', but Dr. Cooper asking about Emmett's genetic history had reminded her of the only thing that she really knew about him genetically- he was deaf.

For the first time, it suddenly occurred to Bay that the baby might be deaf as well. She took a moment to analyze that thought, attempting to figure out how she felt about it, but when no strong emotion followed the epiphany, she realized that it was because she didn't care. If she decided to keep it, it's not as though she would love it any less for being deaf. After all, she loved Emmett more than she ever thought she could love anyone, and _he_ was deaf.

"I see. That's interesting. If the baby's deaf, knowing that that's a possibility at birth could aid us in calming it down when it first leaves the womb. Now, have you taken any medication or nutritional supplements since your last period?"

"Not unless Tylenol counts," Bay joked.

Dr. Cooper noted it down on her chart, and when she looked up at Bay, her expression was apologetic. "I'm afraid the next part of this visit is why you're dressed in a hospital gown."

The next ten minutes were some of the most awkward of Bay's entire life. Dr. Cooper had her head in between Bay's legs, poking around places only Emmett had seen with cold instruments that caused Bay to shrink back from their touch. Somewhere in those ten minutes, Bay was forced to endure her first ever pap smear, but she wasn't sure where that was. She was too busy staring at the ceiling and feeling the heat in her cheeks as she blushed hard. Following that, Bay had to pee in a cup so that she could be checked for a bladder infection and she also had to get blood tests done for more things than she could remember.

After that whole awkwardness was over with, Dr. Cooper instructed her on maintaining a healthy diet and told Bay which foods to avoid. Bay was given prenatal vitamins to take, and was told it was extremely important to the baby's health and that not taking them could lead to all kinds of defects. Bay promised herself she'd never miss a dose.

"Alright, Bay, everything looks good here. Now we just need to schedule your next appointment…" she trailed off, going towards her calendar. "I'm free on September 28, which is exactly four weeks from now. How does that work for you?"

"That's good," Bay confirmed swinging her legs. She immediately stopped when she saw her reflection and realized how much it made her look like a little girl.

Bay started to get up to leave, when Dr. Cooper stopped her. "Bay, actually, the check-up you just had was all typical of your first prenatal visit, but since you're already in your second trimester, do you want to go ahead and get your first second trimester prenatal visit out of the way?"

Bay sat back down, nodding. The longer she stayed in this office, the more real the baby became to her. She wanted to know more about it, about how it was doing. It was starting to feel like _her_ baby.

"I don't suppose you've felt the baby move yet?" Dr. Cooper asked.

"No. But I am starting to get a baby bump."

"No contractions?"

Bay laughed out of surprise. "_Noooo_, definitely no contractions. If there'd been contractions, you would have seen me _way_ before now!"

"How are you feeling? Not just physically, but emotionally. Your emotions are also felt by the baby."

"Really?" Bay asked, her hand involuntarily flying to cup her abdomen gently. It was the first time she'd ever done that, and she took a moment to let herself fully realize that beneath the warm skin of her hand, her body was caring for the needs of a child.

"I've been okay, I think. A little stressed. I'm nervous about telling people, but I'm trying to get it all done in the next week or two, before I start showing too much."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "That's a good plan. You'll feel better once the ramifications of telling you friends and family are over and done with. They might be mad or upset when you first tell them, but they'll get used to the idea, and trust me, once that baby is born, all they'll be doing is fawning over how cute he or she is."

Bay nodded, pulling her hand reluctantly from her stomach. Dr. Cooper's words made her feel a lot better.

"Do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat, Bay?" Dr. Cooper asked, and all of the breath just whooshed right out of her.

"A- a heartbeat?"

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Most women can hear it at twelve weeks. You're sixteen weeks."

"Yeah, I want to hear it."

Bay was told to lie back on the table and then Dr. Cooper used an instrument that she called a Doppler over Bay's stomach.

And then she heard it. It was loud and strong and fast. It almost sounded like the galloping of a horse, but it brought tears to Bay's eyes. She felt cheesy, but in that moment, Bay just _knew_.

She _loved_ this baby. It was _hers_. In a moment of sudden and absolute clarity, Bay knew that she wanted that heartbeat for the rest of her life. She wanted to throw birthday parties in the chill of February, she wanted to hear the giggles of a child, _she_ wanted to be the one who was going to nag at a reluctant teenager to clean their room. She _wanted_ this baby.

And she wished she hadn't realized that, because she didn't see how she could keep it. Wouldn't it be best for the baby to give it up to someone who was more equipped to raise a child? Who had wanted one desperately for awhile now? Bay was sixteen, she had school and her future to think about, not to mention Emmett's future. Was it really fair to ruin the rest of his life just because she'd gotten googly-eyed over a heartbeat?

None of her common sense changed how much she wanted it though.

She kept her tears in check determinedly as Dr. Cooper asked her if she wanted an ultrasound. She wondered at the wisdom of that, as she'd just about fallen apart with just the heartbeat, but couldn't stop herself from saying 'yes'. A cold gel was put on her stomach and a grainy black and white image came up on the ultrasound screen. Bay really did cry that time as Dr. Cooper pointed out the head and the limbs.

_That was her baby_.

"Everything looks good here," Dr. Cooper was saying. "I can't tell the sex right now, but maybe I'll be able to at your next visit. You'll be twenty weeks by then. Do you want to know the sex?"

Bay didn't know. She thought that knowing whether it was a boy or a girl might just make her want it more than she already did.

"It's okay," Dr. Cooper said. "You don't have to decide right now."

"I'll let you know at my next appointment," Bay said.

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Do you want me to print out a copy of the ultrasound for you?"

"Yeah… actually, could I get two?

Dr. Cooper nodded again, looking back over her chart. "Everything looks good, Bay. Both you and your baby are healthy as a horse. You should definitely try and get the process of telling those you're close to over and done with as soon as possible, it'll mean less stress for you and the baby. My advice would be to tell the father first. That way he won't hear about it from anyone else, and he might also be able to help you when it comes to telling your parents."

Bay nodded, getting up off the table and going behind the changing screen. When she emerged, fully dressed, Dr. Cooper gave her an appointment card for September 28, along with two ultrasound photos. Bay left the office with a small smile, thinking how ironic it was that when she'd walked in, the thought of having a baby was a source of dread, but now she wanted it so badly it hurt.

Daphne closed her magazine with a 'snap' when she saw Bay reenter the waiting room. As they walked out to the car, Daphne turned to her.

"So how'd it go?"

"Pretty good. I got more tests done than I think I've ever had in my whole life combined, but hey, at least we know without a doubt that I'm probably the healthiest person on the planet."

"That's good. Did you get an ultrasound?"

Bay was surprised by the excitement in Daphne's voice. Who knew she like babies so much? Or maybe it was just her and Emmett's baby that Daphne liked.

"Yeah, do you want to see? I got two photos."

"Oh, yes please! Can I have one?"

Bay froze as she was pulling one of the images out of her pocket. "Um, actually… one of them was kind of for Emmett…"

"Oh, right, duh, of course!" Daphne dropped the subject, for which Bay was grateful. As Daphne oohed and awed over the copy, Bay felt another wave of longing towards the child she was carrying, and she realized-

She may not be _able_ to put it up for adoption.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

_Saturday, September 1, 2012_

When Bay woke up that morning, she felt it, deep down inside her bones. Today was the day. She had to do it. Daphne was on her case, Dr. Cooper had advised her to do it and Bay was having increasing difficulty dealing with the guilt and stress. So she was going to do it.

Today was the day that Bay would tell Emmett she was pregnant.

She looked in the direction of her closet, where she'd hidden his letter. Knowing that she'd see him today, she again felt an almost irresistible desire to know what he had been trying to tell her all these months.

It took her an hour to find the stupid thing. By putting it in her closet she'd hoped it would get lost in the bowels of years of hoarding and unnecessary clothing purchases. Well, she'd succeeded. By the time she found the little envelope, she was sat in the middle of her closet, surrounded by piles of clothing and junk. She carefully maneuvered her way out, half-climbing at one point, and quickly slammed the closet door shut behind her, hoping her parents wouldn't go in there anytime soon.

Standing in the bright sunlight coming in through her window, Bay felt her hands shake as she stared at the letter. Suddenly, she didn't want to read it. What if what was inside just made everything _worse_? She really didn't think she could handle _worse_ right now.

Before she could change her mind, she quickly tore the envelope open, almost ripping the letter in her haste to get it out. She unfolded the paper and her eyes greedily sucked in-

-a set of directions?

She stared at it stupidly for a few seconds, before pulling her shoes on at record speed and almost running down the stares. She strode through the kitchen towards the driveway with purpose, keeping her eyes glued on the directions.

"Bay, honey?" Kathryn asked, bewildered curiosity in her tone at her daughter's clear determination.

"I'm going out, I'll be back in a little bit," Bay called over her shoulder.

She followed the directions to an absolute tee, until she'd reached a building so hard to find that she wondered how the hell Emmett had managed it. But it wasn't the location that brought tears to Bay's eyes. It was the _timeline_.

Bay found herself immediately touched by Emmett's mode of telling her how sorry he was. The fact that he'd used street art meant the world to Bay, because she remembered the terrible consequences Emmett had faced the last time he'd done street art. And yet, he'd still used it to show her how much their relationship had meant to him. The timeline itself was both devastating and joy-inspiring. It showed all of the significant dates in their relationship. Bay had never had a boyfriend that had thought she was important enough to keep track of things like that, _she'd_ always been the one doing it, like the stereotypical clingy, overemotional girlfriend. Bay never wanted to be that girl, and she never had been with Emmett. He was the only one who saw her for who she really was.

But then she came to the end of the timeline and saw it. 'Emmett makes a mistake', written underneath a broken heart. Next was 'Bay forgives Emmett', followed by 'Emmett and Bay forever'. The smile that she hadn't even realized she was wearing slid right off her face as tears welled in her eyes. It _killed_ her how much she wanted to give in, how much she wanted to be with him forever. She could _see_ it, the rest of her life spent with Emmett and a little boy who looked just like him. But she kept finding herself stuck on the 'Bay forgives Emmett', because every time she thought of him with Simone, her heart broke all over again, and she could feel bile rising up the back of her throat-

With a gasp and a short sob, she ran back to the safety of the Thing, where she could pretend that the awful-beautiful timeline wasn't there. She leaned her head against the steering wheel and just let herself cry for a little while. It was okay to cry now, she tried to convince herself, because nobody was around to see it.

She managed to stop crying after about five minutes, and she sniffled back against anymore tears that wanted to come out. Then she pulled her phone from her pocket and shot off a text to Emmett, praying that she wouldn't regret this.

_Meet me tonight. After dinner. 7:00._

His reply was instantaneous.

_Okay_.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

As Bay drove to meet Emmett, she was surprised by her complete lack of nervousness. She thought she would have been worried about his reaction. What if he was mad at her? What if he left her to deal with this on her own? But she wasn't. She knew that Emmett would _never_ leave her alone to deal with _his_ child. He might not think being a teenage father was the best thing to ever happen to him, but he wouldn't ever shrug off the responsibility. She found it ironic that when they were together, she apparently couldn't trust him to not cheat on her, but now that they'd broken up, she trusted him to not leave her.

When she got to their agreed destination, she parked and sat in the car, arms crossed, waiting for his arrival. Within minutes, she heard the rumbling of a motorcycle, and as it came closer, she recognized the driver as Emmett.

He parked and swung off the bike, unfastening his helmet as Bay hopped out of her car. They left their headlights on, so they could see each other in the dark, though looking at him, Bay suddenly wished she _couldn't_ see him. God, he was so handsome. She'd almost managed to forget _exactly_ how good-looking he was, She missed touching that red hair while she kissed those lips, and she missed the way those bright blue eyes would look at her like she was the only thing of value on this earth.

She swallowed hard and focused on his hands as he started signing to her.

'I'm really glad you contacted me,' he signed, drawing her in with those _incredible_ eyes, just like he always used to do. Before _Simone_.

The thought of Simone made her stomach churn, and her resolve strengthened. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't just run to him and fall back into his arms. Maybe someday, but that day was not today. She wasn't ready.

"I had something important to tell you," she signed and spoke at the same time.

'Did you see it? Did you get the letter?' she almost wanted to be mad at him for ignoring her statement, but he looked so desperate that she couldn't muster it.

"Yes. I saw the timeline."

'And?'

Oh, God. Why did he have to make this _so hard_? She was trying really hard not to cry, but her eyes were still filling with tears, and she knew that he knew what that meant because his eyes were filling with tears too.

"Emmett, I'm _sorry_, I just- I can't."

He looked so defeated that she just wanted to wrap him in her arms and tell him everything would be okay. Her heart _demanded_ that she go to him, but her brain kept reminding her of Simone, and sometimes she couldn't help _imagining_ them together and-

She choked back a sob as he started signing to her again. 'No, I'm the one who's sorry. I hurt you so badly, Bay, I hate myself for it. I love you, I love you so much, I never should have _looked_ at Simone. I'm so sorry, and I hope that maybe one day you can forgive me.' He hung his head dejectedly, and Bay just wanted to run from him and all of the confused emotions he brought up- anger, betrayal, jealousy, _love-_

But she had come here for a reason. She touched his arm so that he'd look back up at her.

"Emmett, I have to tell you something."

He was looking back at her expectantly, his eyes still red-rimmed. Oh God, she loved him, she loved him, she loved him, _she loved him_-

Her brain drained of all words as she looked at him. The nervousness set in suddenly, unexpectedly, as she realized that she had absolutely no idea how to tell him.

Then she heard herself speaking, as though it were somebody else talking. She couldn't even sign because her hands had started trembling. When did that happen? Was this what they called an out-of-body experience?

"I'm pregnant," she said. "The baby is yours."


End file.
